… … Perhaps this is why people say that “opposites attract.” It is common for us to desire those qualities that we do not possess in order to seek fullness.
I know my strengths have helped my wife in areas she needed to grow, and her strengths and virtues have also aided me to become a better person. We grow together and we can learn from each other. This complementarity is something wonderful.
While opposites sometimes attract, they can also attract for the wrong reasons! Take an overly shy woman who has great trouble being assertive. Then along comes a strong, assertive, take-charge man who suddenly looks very appealing to her. Instead of overcoming her struggles and learning to speak up for herself (for example, to her boss and landlord who are taking advantage of her), she may desire to have her assertive boyfriend speak on her behalf.
It may seem like a good match originally, but by being dependent, she will never grow, learn to communicate, be assertive, or stand up for herself. Thus, she will remain stunted as a person. Yes, she desires a boyfriend, but for the wrong reasons. We must be very careful with doctor/patient relationships like this. … … …
If you would like to read the whole post, please see my article on CatholicMatch here.