Conversation of the Day (in Sex Ed)

Conversation of the day (Sex Ed)

I had to substitute for health class and the topic was “safe sex.” Before the teacher left and had me take over, she warned the class that people are getting AIDS because they’re having casual sex and not safe sex.  She then told them bluntly not to be dumb when having sex but to always use protection and make sure it’s safe.  She left.  The video we watched was about ironically about abstinence and not about safe sex.  The video completely contradicted everything she said. And I told the class that.  After the video, I summed up the important parts and then added my own little chastity talk.

I told the class that there is no such thing as safe sex, and that there is no way to protect against some diseases by any contraceptive means.  I told the class that the AIDS virus is 300 times smaller than the holes in the condom (which your teacher is telling you to use).  This is the difference between a basketball and a marble or a person walking through a doorway.  At this point the kids were listening intently, even the trouble makers. I went on to tell them that no birth control or contraceptive can protect against HPV which is the most rampant of all diseases. 1 out of 2 sexually active people have this disease, and most of them don’t even know it because there are no signs or symptoms.  It’s the leading cause of cervical cancer in a country for women, and I heard of a women who unknowingly passed it on to her baby.  The baby had to get warts burned off her throat every month because the parents didn’t think of future consequences.  I went on to remind them that the video said that the only way not to get pregnant or a disease is to practice abstinence.  I reminded them that abstinence was not just refraining from sex, but from ‘all’ sexual activity… until marriage.  Some diseases, I said, can be spread even without intercourse but through skin to skin contact.  This is why the diseases are spreading so rampantly.  And, no one talks about the emotional consequences of sexual activity.  You may not get a disease, but you can get a broken heart, someone taking something precious from you that was never theirs to begin with.

“But these are all the negative side effects.”  I told them that most people focus on the negative but never speak about the positives.  I’m going to tell you the positive side of why abstinence is good.  Abstinence should not be a, “No, I can’t have sex,” but it should be a “Yes, I can have sex, with the right person, at the right time, in the right place, in the right way.”  I.e. With your spouse, in marriage, and for the sake of true love.  Every time you have sex before marriage, I told them, you give away a piece of yourself a piece of your heart and soul that you can never get back.

But more than that, they showed in the video a woman sticking tape to people’s arms and then ripping it off over and over.  She did this to demonstrate a point of the emotional consequences of sex.  No one tells you guys that when during sexual activity, not just sex but even hooking up and such, you release a powerful chemical in your brain called Oxytocin.  This is the same chemical released between a mother and a baby which is why they are so closely bonded.  This chemical bonds people together.  But, what happens if you stick tape to your arm and rip it off.  It will hurt and hair will come with it.  But, if you repeat that over and over, eventually the tape does not have any stick left.  It’s the same with oxytocin.  I believe one reason for divorce is that people have used up this stick long before they are even married.  They have given a piece of themselves to this person, and that one, and that one, and that one.  What do they have left for their spouse.  Some people say that hooking up is like prostitution but without getting paid.

Now, you here today have to ask yourself… do you want that?  Or are you going to save yourself for your soulmate, for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?  Are you worth the wait?  Remember, you are all a prince or princess (Girls go, “Awwww”).

What kind of person do you want to be? Some people view their sexuality as a broken down rusty van which has rust inside and out, which has the floor falling in and the dashboard cracked.  Even the rear view mirrors are broken.  These people don’t even lock the van when they go to the store because they don’t care if anyone breaks into it.  It’s not worth much in their eyes. Other people however treat their sexuality like a Ferrari or a beautiful sports car, which has a very expensive alarm on it, not because the car is dirty, or bad, but because it’s so beautiful and is worth so much.  Someday, these people will open up the driver side and let their soulmate in.  Together, they will take a ride together in love for the rest of their lives.  Then, I asked the teens; what do ‘you’ want to be?  How do you view your sexuality?  As a van that’s not worth much, or as a beautiful sports car?  Are you a cheap date? Are you a soulmate?

At this point as my speech finished, a bunch of kids in the class started clapping and applauding. They were brimming over with joy and hope from the message and thanked me for giving it.  One girl yelled out, “See, that’s why I love Mr. Mercier’s speeches!”

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About Bryan Mercier

Bryan Mercier is a thirty-eight year old speaker and retreat leader. He has spoken to adults and teens for the last fifteen years on a wide variety of topics; ranging from catechetics and faith formation, to morality, spirituality, and apologetics. He has spoken at youth and adult retreats, workshops, seminars, Catholic schools, parish missions, local, regional and national conferences. He has spoken in front of crowds ranging from thirty to three-thousand and has been aired on both TV and radio in different states. Bryan also runs the R.O.C.K. (Revival Of Catholic Kids) Ministry Team that puts on all-day retreats for teens. He is going for his Masters in theology and working on writing numerous books and tracts.
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